THIS FORUM PROVIDES YOU WITH

This simple forum was created to provide a place of OPEN DIALOGUE for the recovery of Sound Doctrine.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

“It’s Just Me” –Life after a Toledo Pitt Stop


It was the summer of 2007 and I shouted “Lord, you told me I’d always be there!” The Lord quickly answered back, “No, that’s what YOU always said.” I thought about that for a moment and He was right. The light had come on in my world and I began to see that I had been living in a matrix, a bubble, if you will. A world filled with hopes and dreams that would never be realized the way I thought they would. Quickly, my mind began to race with questions. How could this be? I thought Pastor was my “covering”? What about all the memories, all the years, the friendships, the teaching, the dedication, the dreams we held collectively and stood on through the years? You can’t leave a church without “knowing” where you’re going next, right? Right?! At that point, I had already been given many confirmations that I needed to leave, but I asked the Lord to confirm His will by His written Word. So He said, “Acts 7:3”. I turned there and read, “Leave your people and your country, and come to the land that I WILL show you.” Wow, there it was. I knew what this meant and where this was going. What was once the “unthinkable” became true in my life. All the thoughts that maybe “it's just me, something must be wrong with me” came to a peaceful end. I had finally come to the realization that my decision to leave Cornerstone Church after 10 yrs. was the right one. Now it was time for me to OBEY what God had been showing me for months. I had to make a choice that day… "Do I follow the voice of the Holy Spirit or the voice of man?” Not to mention the fear that my friends in the church would think I was crazy or “off”-as they would put it. Yes, leaving would cost me a lot. But, God had spoken and it was time to pick up my tent and continue on.

Did I know I was attending a spiritually-abusive church? Did I know what an authoritarian leader was? No, not when I first left. You see, I had basically “grown up” in this church. Of course, I had a solid foundation in church as a child, but this was MY first church as an adult. I was proud of myself for finding it on my own and becoming a dedicated member. And I loved my Pastor and the members very much. So, as much as it was exciting at first to be following God’s direction, it was extremely difficult because of my relationship ties. Little did I know the transition I would go through.

One step at a time the Holy Spirit taught me, healed me, and corrected any false perceptions of God and His Word that came over the platform. Many unhealthy things were shown to me, but I also found that there were many GOOD and true things taught to me during my season at Cornerstone as well. Not everything was bad, I just had to learn to separate the two. I began to see that I attended a church that BECAME spiritually abusive. I began to see that the leadership was set up like a hierarchy that taught members that the Pastor himself was their
spiritual covering and headship. We were identified as “Sons” and “Daughters” of the House instead of children of God. We were told that unless "church government" releases you, you are removing yourself from underneath “their covering” and bad things can happen to you. It was suggested from the pulpit that we were apart of a “new thing” a “special thing” that God was doing through their ministry. If you left, you would miss out on “the move of God in the earth today”. Of course, there was no “accountability” to the members in the church; especially financial accountability. Whenever the media covered the Pastor's arrests or criminal record we were always told “it was an attack of the enemy”. It always kept us from objectively thinking for ourselves, because we chalked it up to some “spiritual attack”. Members were referred to as merely “stupid sheep” whenever they asked or inquired about things that didn’t biblically line up.

So, I guess you could say that after being delivered from all this usurping of authority... I soon began to see the truth behind all those hyped-up “catch phrases" primarily derived from the Old Testament. I did realize part of this was MY fault as well. I was the one who took “their word” for it. As Christians, we are to “submit ourselves one to another”. I have a responsibility to study the scriptures for myself and “test the spirits”. Instead, I chose at times to believe what my heart wanted to believe. The Holy Spirit brought things to my attention over the later years I attended, but I was always quick to discount them. I should have asked myself, "Why are my eyes were being opened to these things?"

After leaving, it probably took me about 6 months to come to the realization that what was promised would never come to pass for me. This is not what I signed up for at the start. But what really happened? How did I get where I was? In order to answer these questions I had to go back to the beginning and take a look at myself. I had to ask some tough questions. What was it about Cornerstone Church that attracted me in the first place? What was it that kept me at a church that became increasingly ran by such controlling and manipulative leadership? Why did I always excuse them when they covered up their unfortunate choices instead of taking ownership of them? Why did I accept so quickly that the pastor would never personally nurture me or fellowship with me? And why did I relegate the responsibility of my calling to their ministry for over a decade, never fully knowing if they might ever release me to fulfill it?

Like many others I came there with my life in crisis. At that time, I was young and somewhat naive.  I was looking for purpose and direction, to put my life back on track by following the Lord.  Cornerstone made me feel I could be apart of something bigger than myself; this is what enticed me and kept me there for many years. At that time, my life was at an all time low and I knew I needed to get back into church. So after visiting for a short period, I decided to make the move and get “plugged in”. I was ready for a new start in life and it was exciting!! Through those early years, God healed me, built me, and equipped me. God is good!! As you can see my Cornerstone season meant EVERYTHING to me. It was there that I made connections and built relationships, especially since I didn't have any immediate family in the area. The faith expressed at my church became my life and gave me purpose. All of these things made it hard for me to leave. After soberly identifying what attracted me to and kept me at Cornerstone, I began to realize that I had falsely attributed in some ways my success to "them" instead of God.

Over the years, I began to attach my identity to my leadership instead to God. I had placed my "awesome church" and my "cool pastor" on a pedestal; over time they replaced the position that belonged to my Lord. I began to think that it was my "spiritual connection” to Cornerstone that opened the heavens over my life. Not realizing that it was my faith and relationship with the Lord (by His grace) that blessed me. Sure, I would say God did it, but deep down I believed that there was some "special" blessing through the pastor and if I left the church that "blessing" would leave my life too.  Of course these ideologies were taught by the leadership, who demanded total submission without questioning their teachingsFEAR was a common factor that kept most people there. They lure you in and "deposit" into your life, then tell you if you leave, you're "breaking covenant" and your life will fall apart. This type of philosophy is more suited to a mafia family or organization. If you do leave, you are considered “off” and no one is to fellowship with you anymore. And they brush it off by saying things like, “It’s not our fault that people think the way they do”. But of course that’s not the message conveyed from the platform. They never correct their member's improper idolization of them. They know they are being idolized and they allow it. In the end, their church services and organization amount to mass psychology fueled by insecurity and an inordinate need for control. Over the years they have become narcissistic, prideful and arrogant saying things like, "God called me, told me, showed me, and if you disagree with me then you're attacking the anointing on my life!" and "You are either for ME or against ME!"

It’s regretful for me to think of how I was taught a lot of “principles” that brought success, but I was never taught a PROPER FEAR of the Lord. The focus was to give to others who were already "blessed" instead of giving to my brothers and sisters in need. That isn't even biblical. When I began to truly identify what attracted me and "kept" me there..my eyes became open and healing began. I believe they saw us for what they could “get”, instead of what they could “give”. I guess that's the part that seems so surreal and that realization stage is quite painful. You realize that all the love you had for them, was never equally reciprocated back. Your value was determined by the level of submission you gave their agenda. You were only “respected” as much as the offerings you gave, the ministries you labored in, and as the agreement you helped to continue keeping such a ministry alive. That's the tough part; I gave them the power to keep their dysfunction running every time I "sowed a seed" or attended a meeting. Of course it may have not been like that in the very beginning..but over time it had become that way. What probably started out in good intentions, became a business showcased by a gifted speaker.

So here I am years later, free from this madness. God is faithful to finish what He starts. I have so much more to share concerning my dealings with this ministry and its leaders. What could have shipwrecked my faith, was actually just a pit stop on my journey in life. The most important lesson learned in all of this, was for me to know and trust the voice of the Holy Spirit and to never allow “man” to stand in the way of my relationship with Christ and His plan for my life! “

"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord.”

Being a Christian doesn’t always require you to “DO” all the time, sometimes you just need to “BE”. I have now discovered so much more life and liberty in my relationship with the Lord. His grace is more powerful than anything in the world today!

53 comments:

  1. Wow, very good post. I never thought that deeply about it. I think that I just never really wanted to think about it. When I left the church, I tried to leave the best I could on good terms so I wouldn't draw God's wrath for leaving. After reading this, I realize that I must have been in denial for a long time about what that church was and is becoming. I am just relieved that I am still not there. I think I may need counseling because as I read this it almost brought tears to my eyes. Its amazing how easily we can get tricked. It was so subtle like you said. This ministry started out so sincere and gradually became more and more entwined in our hearts as we attended. You also right about us ultimately becoming more loyal to that ministry instead of God himself. They make you feel special or like you will be missing out if you don't go to their church. Like you, I had always thought that something was wrong for a while but just thought these thoughts were from satan.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! Great blog!! I have read and re-read this post many times over. Every time I see something else that I want to comment on. I could write a book of my experiences and thoughts! :) However, to keep it simple, I totally identify with the entire process you went through from beginning to end. I really believe that most of what you experienced isn't any different from anyone else who has withdrawn from Cornerstone up to this point. We all desired something more with God and in our lives. We all were open to the seduction of being "someone on my way somewhere to do something important for God." We all replaced our faith in God with faith in man. We all believed that there was something "wrong" with us when the veils started to fall off our eyes. And we all have been left searching, trying to make sense of the years we spent at Cornerstone.
    BUT GOD... turns all things good for those who love him... sees our hearts and knows that the passion we had for Cornerstone was misplaced passion for Him... has already found us acceptable and worthy without having to jump through all the hoops of giving and ministry work.
    I am sooooo happy to be free from religious performance and obligations! Yet, I am glad for my time there. I found relationships that are true and will last me for eternity, learned an awful lot about serving and received a lot of Godly ministry.(When it wasn't all about the man!)
    All children grow up and leave mother (the church) tending to the house and go out to embrace father (God) in the field and learn to do HIS work.

    I guess we all have graduated! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. It was a real wake up call for me when I realized to what extent several of the Pastors/Ministers were leading a double life. This was only highlighted when several of the ministers who I considered to be people of exceptional character left the church and were then slandered by ministry staff.

    Now it just seems like an empty shell, it's hard to believe anything that is said from the pulpit is sincere, or a real word from God when the pulpit has been used as a tool to cover up criminal and immoral behavior from the ministry staff. I have often thought,is this really God trying to tell me something, or just another manipulation to cover up something?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Reminder: The Exodus from ANY of these controlling and manipulative organizations takes time. The longer you have been drinking the doctrinal poison, the longer it may take to purge the MIND of its depedence. It is no different than a rehab from chemical addication.

    I say that to say, EXODUS is a PROCESS just like it was for Moses and his company. Be patient with yourself and the deprogramming season and whatever you do don't relapse and go back to the abuser because its FAMILIAR.

    It took PAUL 14 years in SEMI-ISOLATION to clear out the religious way of thinking. He did not get the enlightenment on the Damascus Road.

    Don't be in a hurry, let the REFINER purge out all the wood, hay, and stubble. Take you time, relax, breathe, and know that the Grace of God is with you through the process. I did it and so can you...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I meant to say, it started on the Damascus road but was completed in the wilderness in semi-isolation. He will make sure to get you in a place where you hear ONLY HIS VOICE. When you come out, you will then KNOW HIS VOICE and be able to distinguish from OTHER VOICES.

    Let me tell you, you will experience a freedom that your tithe and covering could never buy.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When did the New Contract or Testament take the place of the Old Contract or Testament? In other words, up until what point was the OT law in effect and to be followed and adhered to by the nation of Israel? Think about this for awhile as it is crucial to know this to undertsand why Jesus still instructed people to follow the Law before his crucifixion.

    Here is another analogy for people. If a contract is FULFILLED what exactly does that mean? What did it mean when Brett Favre fulfilled his contract with the Packers? He did not destroy that contract but rather he fulfilled the terms and obligations so as to be RELEASED from the terms and conditions of that (Packers) old contract. That contract is no longer, watch now, ENFORCEABLE against Brett Favre or the other parties (Jesus and his followers) by the Packers (God)because it was FULFILLED. Brett then moved on to sign a new contract with the Vikings with new conditions and terms. Jesus did the same thing.

    This is very powerful but yet often misunderstood by 90% of "Christians".

    Now, tell me how foolish this would be: The Packers call Brett up this week and tell him to show up for practice for the Packers and to be there at a certain time according to his contract. You can stop laughing now. Or how about Brett showing up to the Packers game with his uniform and warming up on the side lines for the Bears game? PEOPLE WOULD LOOK AT HIM LIKE HE HAS LOST HIS MIND.

    It is the same way GOD looks at people who try to operate their lives by an old contract that has already been fulfilled by Christ. The Bible goes on to say that when you do this you trample the Grace of God and insult the Spirit of Grace because you are reverting to being justified by your work and effort rather then Christ's Law Fulfillment at the Cross.

    Nothing from the Old Contract was carried over to the new. No addendums, no "passing" through the cross. Jesus FULFILLED ALL THE LAW. We live according to a New Contract and it is one of Grace alone.

    This changed my life when I saw this, this way.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i was introduced to Christ at a similar church but much smaller and much more family oriented. after dismissing many alarming situations God told me to leave i did the right thing told my leaders i was leaving and why. they encouraged me not to leave my family (their church) and that they needed me and that was the devil telling me to go so i stayed looking back now was because i didn't want to leave anyway. to make a long story short God allowed me to see them for who they really were without His arms of protection and let's just say it started me on a journey of never allowing a man to convince me to disobey God ever again. If God said it that settles it period end of discussion! God chaser!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow, who knew a church could do so much damage to people. When you began at this church, were there any warning signs that things were off or did it take a while? And how did you find out all of this stuff? I have a friend that goes there and she has stood by this Pitts through everything and refuses to think bad of him? What can I say to her?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Just want to encourage you to keep this blog going! My husband and I left Cornerstone about 4.5 yrs ago and I am still so screwed up spiritually by our years there. I find that too often I swing waaay to the opposite extreme of things to try and offset what I was believing (that I now know is wrong) back then...it is a constant struggle to find the right balance spiritually.

    I still have friends there, and I've even gone back for visits a couple of times...each time coming away more convinced we made the correct decision.

    Keep up the great work here. There are MANY of us out there who've left in the past five years or so...many more than you realize, perhaps!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I talked to my friend and she says she has bever heard of any wrong doing by pitts (other than the dui). She said she knows about all the blogs out there but they are just from disgruntled people who could not propegate their agendas. Now I am concerned for her. I had no idea all this was going on...what do I do?

    ReplyDelete
  11. To: "How do I help a friend that still goes to Cornerstone?"

    Considering Cornerstone’s known reputation in the community, I would say that since you are not a member, she is going to automatically worry about what you think of her church. So that is why (when the situation is brought up) she of course is quick to defend her church and pastor. So she will then proceed to do what she KNOWS. Which is… to reiterate the lines of excuses she’s been continually fed from the platform.
    Any leader that uses those "disgruntled people" justification lines, is simply trying to deflect their followers away from the truth. Also keep in mind how easy it is for the members to buy into those ideals, because it quickly soothes away any concerns and makes everyone “feel" that everything is still “ok” at the stone. Also know that at Cornerstone…it is quite easy to dismiss things because the majority of members do not have access to the Pastor and therefore it is almost impossible to “know for certain” that any allegations of misconduct are true. This is why things are so easily dismissed as mere “rumors” or “attacks”.

    When people are apart of a spiritually abusive church, it can be very difficult for them to think objectively and come to their own individual conclusions. Especially since they are continually indoctrinated from the pulpit; their minds become trained to automatically receive the Pitt’s “version” of the Gospel -without question. They are also feared into believing that those who leave are "off" and will tragically miss “the church’s next Big Level”. This traps people in a continual cycle of fear. In addition to the mind-control, your friend is probably dealing with relational ties as well. As it is very hard to leave, because once you do..you already know you too will be painted as an "outcast". And nobody wants that. Your friend might also be heavily involved in the different ministry depts. there, which is also a difficult tie to sever as well. A lot of time is invested for those that are involved there and she is probably linking her "faith" to her "ministry commitment" instead to Christ.

    For now, I would definitely be lifting her up in prayer, specifically praying that the scales would fall off her eyes and she would confidently DISCERN the voice of the Holy Spirit and His leadings. Also, help her to NOT simply dismiss any thoughts that question whether everything is ok. She needs to ask HERSELF –“Why am I being shown this?” Getting her to think objectively is the key. I would also sit down with her and biblically show her that the “covering doctrine” simply does not exist. Man is not your covering and your “covering” does not leave you, as you depart from a church bldg. They are still apart of THE church…which is the Body of Christ. He ALONE is our covering –period. As this is the MAIN ROOT that keeps the good folks of Cornerstone trapped behind the doors.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, how nice to see a support group for those of us who survived.

    My story reads much the same: I found the stone when I was in terrible crisis. I felt I belonged. My whole life became glommed together under the covering of the house. Until I found myself in another crisis, this time not of my own doing.

    It was as if all of the people who Spiritually "over me" were completely incapable of empathy. A certain Pastor was more concerned about my tithing than my situation, health and mental health. I went to another pastor and poured my heart out. I was distraut that my Spiritual family was as dysfunctional as my family of origin!

    When I was called into the principal's office for the last time, I was told how the Stone has always embraced diversity. It was then pointed out that I was the square peg in the round hole but they loved me anyway.

    I was then told I was spiritually off and should attend RTF. For those unfamiliar with RTF, it is the charismatic Christian equivalent to therapy. Unfortunately, no one who was "counseling" was a professional therapist. Personally, I am not going to risk going into emotional crisis in the midst of untrained church-folk.

    Let us raise a toast to the square peg in round hole spiritually off individuals who are now still wandering the wilderness of organized religion.

    ReplyDelete
  13. 0o0,
    I can relate. I was trained for the RTF ministry & had no idea what to expect. I gave of my time & did what I was asked. Unfortunately, I also crossed some sort of line & was reprimanded by Janet Wend for having "contact with guest ministry". This guest ministry I talked to after one of the "sessions" had compassion & was the only one who could help me through the depth of pain I was experiencing. She did not think it strange that I talked to her. She actually wanted to do follow up with me, but that never happened. Janet told me that we are not allowed to have contact with guest ministry. It was then I really began questioning things.

    I was never accepted into RTF ministry, as I needed "more ministry". I was told by David Banks that he would set me up with the best of the best, but that never happened. I was told to go to the Healing House in N.C. I never went. Funny thing though, Tony Banks once said to a woman in a prayer line next to me that everything she had need of was in the house.

    After this experience, I called my sister who is a pastor & asked her if their members are allowed to have contact with guest ministry. She said, yes, why? I explained what happened & she told me to look up Kingdom Now doctrine. When I finally looked it up, I said to myself, I'm in a cult.

    My sister & her husband visited Cornerstone many times & about 4-5 years ago, the last time they visited, my sister's husband asked her after service, "Was it just me or did something leave the house?" He said that there was a different spirit in there. And sure enough he was right.

    Look at what has happened over the last 4-5 years; look how many good people and pastors have left. We can't all be "off, disgruntled & have an agenda.

    The pastors who left including some of those in the network knew there was something terribly spiritually wrong there. When they left, it was lied about or nothing was said at all.

    I for one, was a member for 18 years, & can tell you that I am not "off", disgruntled, nor did I have an agenda. I gave nearly 2 decades of my time, money and life & defended Michael's questionable behavior for years. I was ridiculed by my family and co-workers for attending CStone through Michael's exposure & masturbation charges & drunk driving convictions. Persecution should come for righteousness sake, not for the public sins of your pastor.

    Michael never repented for any of it. He always had an answer for why these things happened and we like good submissive sheep believed him. I heard it all & stood by him through it all.

    However, the 2nd drunk driving conviction made me angry. One, maybe, a mistake; two, there's a problem. I come from an alcoholic home & did not care to deal with the drunkeness of my "pastor". He never repented & made light of it & finally called a church mtg. after people were talking & leaving. He had to do damage control.

    I know I'm not "off". I have 2 degrees & have been in a professional helping career for 27 years. I am not unstable nor did I have an agenda. I carefully weighed my decision to leave.

    Leaving Cstone is like going through a divorce or leaving an abusive relationship. It requires a deprogramming & a grieving process. Anger is part of grieving. Grief takes time. Keep reading these blogs & talking. Support is needed. Don't keep wondering if there is something wrong with you - there isn't. You were under a perverse & deceptive spirit. As Michael taught, what is on the head flows down - good or bad.

    You will come through this - God will never leave you nor forsake you. Don't abandon your faith. Reach out to your new ex-CStone family members & talk, talk, talk. It is healing. God's peace & strength be yours.

    ReplyDelete
  14. “I also crossed some sort of line & was reprimanded by Janet Wend for having "contact with guest ministry”.”

    That is a horrible transgression and I am most certainly thankful that the cackling pastor reprimanded you. (That’s sarcasm) I have had experiences where I was actually pulled away from people. It seems, however, it was because I was talking to the “commoners” of the congregation.

    As I said before, I was riding in the back of the short bus. I was constantly reminded (Only by one person of the staff, mind you) that my position was “special” and “meant something” and things were “different” for me.

    In all honesty I am not sure it was that they were “vulgar” (in the true sense of the word) or if I was just laughing too loudly (I am the vulgar one). It was something I was not imagining or projecting, however.

    In hindsight, perhaps they were trying to protect the lay folks from ME and my openness.

    I refused to sit in the front row. I stuck out like a sore thumb anyway. The golden row always felt “too close” and was very uncomfortable. Not because of the intimacy of the contact to Bishop Pastor, but because of the GIANT GOSPELTRON.

    I found I grew tired of seeing the same big faces in the front two rows on the gospeltron. They were the same faces in the YEARBOOK known as the end of the year report. My issue.

    I had no agenda other than day to day survival. I sort of just blast through life and a certain someone whose charge I was in would tug and pull the puppet strings accordingly.

    Behind closed doors I was treated like I was a ten year old and often times the dynamics became charged and extremely unhealthy. I fought the entire thing but kept my mouth shut. My mother was the queen of passive aggressiveness -- these people are amatures.

    Within the upper echelon even, I was isolated but not by my own doing. I seriously could write a book about my experiences there and people would laugh until they cried. I mean that sincerely.

    I’m sorry to hear you never went to Healing House. I was told, “We have actually sent people to Healing House, but we’re not sending you. You can call Pastor Banks and…” I'm not sure how I was supposed to take that. I laughed. That was probably not the appropriate reaction.

    I confided all of my heart and goings ons to Pastor Banks and Toni. (Before I was told to get RTF). Having seen everyone and everything unfolding before me, I knew nothing would come of it -- but that was ok.

    I have never considered the Stone a Cult. I never felt I was bamboozled or hypnotized by any of it EXCEPT when I realized the amount of fear that surrounded my concept of tithing.

    It was then that I realized that something had to change for me. Other, more pragmatic things held me to that house. By “pragmatic” I mean money.

    The turning point came when two of the ministry staff left. I had developed more of a relationship with both than I did with any other pastors.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have been at Cornerstone for 23 years. I have read your Kingdome Now doctrine and I am not sure how you can say the Bishop of this house preaches that. He most certainly does not.

    ReplyDelete
  16. To: "amisheart"
    Thank you for visiting the blog. I have not written about "Kingdom Now" teaching - I believe you are referring to the comment left by "4EverFree". As any comments posted by the author will be stamped Speaking Truth in Love (author). (All others are visitors.)
    *However, if you have any specific questions on proper biblical exegesis, I will be happy to help. This blog is dedicated to helping those who desire to be freed from spiritual abuse. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I do apologize if I have interfered with your website,I truly am not looking for a fight or anything remotely close to it. And yes I was responding to the comment written by "4everfree". I am just curious to know what happened to some of my brothers and sisters, some of whom I miss very much. So, let me state for the record from a lot of us that remain, We notice that you are gone and we miss you. We love you and do not think you are off or cursed. We know that you left for your reasons and we honor that. I just wanted you to know that. Believe me, I too am weary in defending cornerstone. The rest of us are just tryting to be children of God and the best representations of Him that we know how. It is difficult to attend this church and not be able to invite people who you know need Jesus..They wont even give it a chance....I am not at the point of leaving, but I am certainly paying attention to everything.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have a 2nd part to my post that just does not seem to want to stay posted - or get posted.

    ReplyDelete
  19. OoO,
    I'm sorry you're having difficulties with posting your 2nd part. We actually do not filter thru any of the comments, it's set up to post automatically. Maybe try again..thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  20. My family and I left in 2006 and totally agree. Do you or have you felt the total excomunication from the people that were your "friends" in Christ that are still there and look the other way when you walk by? I could not have spoke this any better myself. Thanks so much for this post!

    Totally true this is a God thing and when He calls you to leave you must leave. I am struggling with the call that he gave me to go back...but I think it is to rescue the ones that are still there....we are still talking about this...lots of praying!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. My "friends" no longer speak to me either. They were told to "disconnect from disrespect". I never disrespected them...they just don't want to hear the truth or be reminded that something is wrong at their church and with their "papa". I think that is SO weird.

    ReplyDelete
  22. To Anonymous (that left in 2006):
    Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad we can help provide a sounding board for you and others. At times it can be difficult for members to truly know when the Holy Spirit is leading them to leave. This is due to the constant indoctrination of “proper protocol” and continual "psychological warfare" that keeps members from thinking and being led for themselves. The Holy Spirit is a gentleman; he tugs on our heart, opens our eyes and stirs truth within us. There is ALWAYS a reason why He shows us things. We should never brush it off as “it’s just me, something must be wrong with me”.

    Perhaps God IS speaking to you to help those that are still at c-stone and even those who have left! God always rises up a deliverer among his own people. However, I don't feel it is necessary to physically return to an abusive system to do so. Moses went back to Egypt to demand Pharaoh to release the children of Israel…but he did not return to the SYSTEM of Egypt to do so. And after delivering them out….a huge transition took place. They had to get Egypt out of them before they could possess the land, otherwise they would have been dominated by the old-mindset. And speaking of transition….the process one goes thru when they leave an abusive church is predicated upon many things. There are so many factors that go into “why transition is so hard”. A lot of it depends on if you had a strong Christian Foundation before coming, what c-stone specifically meant to you as an individual, and how long you attended. Keep pressing forward friend! God Bless your family and remember, God always rewards those who obey his Word.

    ReplyDelete
  23. To amisheart:
    You have not interfered in any way by your comments, and we appreciate the sentiments you expressed about those you miss. (As it is also very unfair to be put in a position where leadership forces you to “choose” your allegiance.) Such comments are divisive, controlling, and unscriptural. One has to wonder why a Pastor would bear such fruit?
    So with that being said, please know that this is not a "for me or against me" blog; your objective thoughts and feelings are welcomed here! Our goal is to simply provide an avenue for people who have questions in transition, need healing, hope, and refuge. Or to simply vent. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thanks I appreciate that. I had no idea so many people were hurting so much. It is quite shocking to say the least to hear of all the things that you all have experienced..When we see people leave we always wonder why but a lot of times no one (meaning the people who left)tells us they are just gone and so we just wonder. Personally, I have never felt pressured to not speak to anyone that I know that left. I guess I am a different sort of person, no one is going to tell me who I can remain frends with but I know not everyone is like that....Actually, it has kind of been the opposite for me, when I do see friends of mine that left I always approach them to speak but they turn and walk away, so maybe that is a "I will hurt you before you hurt me" type thing. Well, I just wanted to let all of you know what I stated earlier..We do notice when our brothers and sisters in Christ leave us and we care...

    ReplyDelete
  25. And yes, this is all very personal and truly affected my personal journey/opinions and I do not expect anyone to either relate or understand. I do not share this in order to sway anyone.

    Martinez and I felt it. The second staff member was someone that I shared some things in common with. Our discussions were constant and never ending. They (the conversations) would pick up where they left off. He is the only staff member I felt I managed a connection.

    When he left, I was never told. There was a “meeting” to explain everything. I never was never informed. I found out almost 2 weeks after the fact when I realized he was gone. I thought he went on vacation. I had to ask. I found out about the “meeting.”

    I laid it out in the open. People apologized profusely. I was told a certain Someone was supposed to tell me. Someone never did. Someone did sit me down and explain that "people" noticed the relationship with the two Pastors. That is wasn't like those two pastors to be that "friendly" with anyone.

    Especially the one who had just left. “It looked awfully suspicious.”

    That was it. Right there.

    There was a no-contact rule put in place. I called Bullshit.

    I went to a member of the pastoral staff – not to ASK for permission – but to call said Bullshit and inform them that I was going to contact. I contacted.

    The whole “OBEDIENCE” thing cracked wide open for me. Obedience, my ass. The calling card of “Spiritually obedient” was THE calling card of a poisoned environment. Don’t talk about it. Don’t associate with outsiders who are “disgruntled.”

    One could read TOXIC PARENTS and apply it here.
    I have never wondered if something is wrong with me. I know there is! I have been self evaluating for years. I know my issues and although I cannot always name all of my triggers, I do my best to figure it all out. It’s part of the process of recovery and reunification with the Higher Power. But it isn’t wrong. This is my humanity and my struggle to be in His presence.

    I give grace to all those seeking amends. Yet, I have been accused of being poisoned and bitter and having an agenda and… and… and…

    ReplyDelete
  26. PART 3D

    When I met PR for the last time, I was emotionally a wreck due to circumstances having NOTHING to do with the house. My tithing came under scrutiny (again) first and foremost. Then the rest, seemingly to me, was sort of an afterthought.

    “I discuss tithing with families only once. This is my second time with you.” Trust me, the first time I was in an even worse state of being, but that topic was the first thing we discussed. No one still at the house believes this.

    If they do, they believe in the House’s tithing doctrine – and it is true, I was supposed to set an example for everyone. Except, how would anyone know if I was tithing if it is supposed to be between me and God?

    When I was told that I was “Spiritually Off” I said, “No shit!” But oh, what I wanted to say. Oh, what I wanted to say.

    I still deeply love everyone – save for one. And that is what broke my heart. I still love them. I thought they were my friends and companions. I MISS THEM. But because I haven’t set foot back in the house (I am trying to cleanse myself, you know), contact is nearly nonexistent.

    Once again, I am going through early stages of recovery and feel like the lost soul outside of the situation – looking in the window of my family of Spiritual origin.

    ReplyDelete
  27. To OoO:
    Thank you for all your comments, I am praying for you and I just want to say {pat on back} “keep moving forward, you’re doing BETTER than you give yourself credit for right now!” Celebrate every new piece of ground you take!

    Let me preface my response to you by saying….All of our experiences at c-stone are individual and personal to us for many reasons. Every one of us might find ourselves at the SAME "church family", but we all come from DIFFERENT walks of life. Some of us already had an established foundation in Christ upon joining c-stone. Others experienced it for maybe the first time while there. However, the root of all our PAIN is the same -Spiritual Abuse. (and will vary depending upon the degree of involvement within the church system.)

    It’s interesting to note that the analogy you used -feeling like your "outside looking in thru the window at your family" is the EXACT same description I have personally felt and heard expressed from several, several others. It is very difficult to be separated from those you love and consider family. Hard enough to even have to come to that decision, but even harder when the LOSS that follows begins to UNVEIL THE UGLY TRUTH. However, the pain you are experiencing, this too shall pass…the voice of the pain gets quieter and quieter the farther away you go. There is so much freedom waiting for you –God will use the entire process for your good! And as you truly reach out to Christ in this season “OoO”, He will reveal himself to you in such a deeper way. Let all the “whys?” and unsolved questions go for just a minute…take the time to get back to the FOUNDATIONAL truths of the Faith…focus on your personal relationship with Christ. This is critical. Which brings me to my next point…

    Christ alone is THE Foundation. Don’t intertwine your involvement at a church, with your FAITH in Christ. Don’t confuse how the Pastor(s) relates to you, with how the Father God relates to you. *A good analogy of this would be how a child forms their perception of God, based upon their biological father’s relationship with them.* At a spiritually abusive church (however), this is EXACTLY where things get warped. It seems so hidden (until your eyes are opened)…but the result can be “spiritual murder”. I don’t say this lightly. Many people that leave…either give up in transition (ending up in worse states) or limp for quite awhile. Why does this happen?? Because at a Spiritually Abusive church, we are systematically taught to rely upon and place our CONFIDENCE in “our Pastor” instead of the leading and guidance of the Holy Spirit. So when “that Pastor” and our familiar church are no longer in the picture, we suffer separation anxiety. Why? Because for so long we were getting our IDENTITY from our involvement –instead of our relationship with CHRIST. I don’t want this to defer anyone from leaving, but they should be aware of it. It takes time to work thru all this stuff and time is needed to “sort thru” all the junk (keeping the truths and discarding false teachings.)

    Be patient with the process and reach out to others. Most importantly, don't ever give up! God is in control and has already made a way -walk it out!

    ReplyDelete
  28. One of the ways to control a person is to convince them that you have something special or unique that they can only get from you or your corporation.

    Many leaders guise this in the following terms: Corporate Anointing, House Blessing, Spiritual Impartation, Double Portion Anointing, and the ever favorite "Covering".

    They make you believe ever so craftily that in order for you to reach or obtain your calling and highest blessing in life you must do so by submitting to authority and having a covering which is, of course, them.

    There are two problems with this:

    1) It is not Biblical. We all have the same anointing just different gifts. There is no double portion anointing of the Holy Spirit in the new dispensation of grace. We are all on the same playing field and can all access Grace by Faith Alone DIRECTLY FROM CHRIST.

    When you teach headship with you being the head then you usurp the position of Christ in a persons life. This is dangerous because you basically tell people to follow you rather than what they hear God tell them to do by the same Spirit.

    Michael is not the head. Christ is the head and everyone is the body with no special importance put on any specific members (you can read this in the Bible).

    What does this mean? Michael has a gift of oration or speaking and teaching just like Tony Robbins. Michael chooses to use that gift in a "religious setting" and manipulates scripture knowingly or unknowingly for self profit and lavish living. Tony does so as a motivational speaker while keeping religious views out of the equation. He just honestly sells products and seminars that help people in life.

    So Michael can't GIVE YOU ANYTHING. He can't give you his gifts that he was born with that were most likely inherited genetically / by divine design and he can't give you any more than you already have in Christ.

    He is a sheep just like I am a sheep. He just has different gifts than I do and teaches the Bible with great creativity and emotion.

    2) The second problem is Michael and most "preachers" in these arrangements never release people to do what God has called them to do anyhow. They sit in the pew continuing to contribute funds to the Bishop and his Kingdom and they eventually get frustrated. Name one person that Michael has ever released to do what "they felt" God was telling them to do?

    Now think of all the "leaders and teachers" that REALLY LOVE JESUS and have a servants heart that ended up leaving and then getting black balled and hated on because they left to...do what they felt God was leading them to do with their lives.

    How is this LOVE? How is that "pastoring"? How is that Apostolic? There is no fruit here nor is their a demonstration of LOVE.

    Anyhow, just some thoughts for those whom God is beginning to unveil reality to here on this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I began attending Cornerstone Church in May 2002. I had lived in NW Ohio my entire life, and being raise in a church home, had naturally heard about Cornerstone. I had known people that had gone and currently went to the church. I had seen services on tv in the late 90's, and also heard about Pastor Pitts' legal battles in the news. I had never attended a service in person, however.

    At the time I was in my early twenties and was seeking a more vibrant or passionate church, and was seriously seeking the baptism of the Holy Spirit. My first time there I was blown away by the praise and worship, not just by how good the music sounded or how talented the singers were, but the atmosphere of excitement to praise God. The preaching from Pastor Pitts was incredible also. I was very blessed in all that I learned from him and other pastors during my time there.

    I became increasingly involved in attending services, rarely missing, as well as working in the children's ministry. I met some great people and most importantly grew closer to God than I ever thought possible.

    Having said that, during my time at Cornerstone people outside of the church would ask about Pastor Pitts' and the legal controversies that had surrounded him at various times in his life. I would always respond "He says that it was people out to get him", and in some instances I still do believe that. A major problem for me was the 2nd DUI arrest in December of 2006. More so the addressing and handling of the congregation after in happened.

    He took 2 weeks off after it happened and sought help from TD Jakes. Not a word was ever mentioned about what happened untill June 2007 when jail time became inevitable, and it was in the newspapers and tv media. When the congregation was adressed in June 07, it was a sermon that was kind of an apology, but not really. He talked about his DUI and called it spiritual attack. He talked about that he needs the congregation to be with him and offered the opportunity to give him a $100 offering and shake his to say your with him. He said if your not in agreement with how he is handling his situation, you are a rat/snake and are disrupting church order. To be fair he did say that he "is sorry if embarrassed anyone as their pastor". He never said for what.

    I attended through July of 2007 and have not been back. I felt in my spirit when he got the 2nd DUI in December 06 that my time there was done. I gave it some time as I wanted to see how things played out and where God was leading me. Unfortunately some rumors have came out about some "loose" things going on at Cornerstone since that time that I have found to be true. I have no ill will toward Cornerstone or any of its leaders. I think Michael Pitts is a great teacher of the word, and knows how to grow and organize a church. For sure there are problems there, but God can redeem any situation. It hurts to have had to leave a church where great things were happening. I will take the good I learned with me dust off the negative. It is my hope that God is not done with Cornerstone just like he is not done with me, whether I set foot in there ever again or not.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I want to only encourage you, without agenda, and without shrill knee-jerk reactions to your former church. As an outsider and a Christian, I often thought something was amiss a Cornerstone, and even went as far as visiting in order to 'feel' it myself. I have no intention of rehashing the news, or even sharing my thoughts, but rather to offer sincere words of blessing and shared grief for those among you (and indeed, in other congregations) who have suffered under corrupt leadership.

    This is written so well, it is clear to me that God is using you exactly as he intended, and that you will be a light to so many others. Intelligent, well-spoken Christians are a dangerous thing - to the world, and to the corrupt church as well.

    Peace. May God's love be with you, my friends.

    ReplyDelete
  31. To T. Lake,

    Thank you for your kind and caring words. The author of this blog has no ill intentions and truly feels called to help all who have been hurt and are suffering due to corrupt headship.

    The author and others have helped me to sort through my confusion and doubt and have given me hope once again. Leaving a corrupt church is a process and a period of loss and grieving is normal. Untangling twisted doctrine and letting go of mental strongholds is also part of the process.

    We all need to pray for one another and ask God for His continued grace, mercy and healing as we reacquaint ourselves with the simplicity of the gospel as Jesus taught it.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I am reading all this stuff and being on the outside of cornerstone (have left the church) I see things different now. Do I think Pastoral staff have good intentions YES...When I look back I think they truly have a heart for God and want to help people on their spiritual walk. The problem is not that...the move of God is present in that house. The problem is this, they try hard to control the people to be loyal and eventually the people leave because they feel the control. I know that is confusing, but when you constantly hear that THIS IS THE BEST CHURCH AND ONLY CHURCH you are being controlled, when you hear things like this you question yourself if you leave. As though you would be under a curse if you left. This is subtle manipulation. Loyalty from your parish comes from relationships. When you truly KNOW and LOVE your pastor and feel he thinks the same you will remain loyal. Bishop Pitts does not get close to people or know what is going on behind the scenes because there is a wall up. SAD for him, because alot of good people leave hungery for a relationship with their Pastor. If I could talk face to face to him I would tell him to get to know his flock. Other church's of larger attendence in the Toledo area have pastors that KNOW their people. It is a shame. HE PLOWS SO HARD to help these people but they do not stay because he does not take care of the fruit when he has it. Then he is constantly needing to find more people and the cycle begins. Let's all pray for Pitts that he lets go of the wall he is affraid to bring down to get to know people. I put in more years than most and he probably does not even know I have left.

    ReplyDelete
  33. i think the thing that still makes me furious is that when Maus left they did not even let him say good bye to the kids. what DAMAGING things can happen to kids who put their faith in Maus and never hear from Maus again....what for ...the sake of Robert's EGO...I wonder what God thinks about that...Is that why their are so many teenage pregnancies their??? I took my kids out and let them sit with me in service after Maus left

    ReplyDelete
  34. Pride comes before every fall. It is inevitable. These charlatans in these systems are so full of themselves you couldn't find the fruit let alone a seed of any LOVE at all.

    ReplyDelete
  35. "When you truly KNOW and LOVE your pastor and feel he thinks the same you will remain loyal. "

    Not when the man is doing stupid things. Loyalty is empty if it is only a physical presence and out of obligation. And just because someone walks away does not mean they weren't loyal. Sometimes the biggest act of love is walking away from a situation.

    People aren't leaving because they do not know this man, they are leaving because they are seeing who he REALLY is.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I have attended cstone for 21 yrs.I have started there going there when I was young old.Took a 2 yr break there, I attended a diif church for that time & then went back.My disappointment has come from the ladies (pastoral wives) in the church.In all the yrs, NEVER has 1 of them TRY to talk to me.There's so much here that I could say, but I choose not too .I had a couple moments, where Me & Sis Kathi would be the only 2 in the hallway, and I (of course) would be the first to say "hello, sis kathi, how are you?"..no rsponse ever.Just a turned head the other way.Or, couple of times, I would be talking to someone, and she'd walk up & interrupt me & start talking to that person.Not "excuseme" or polite smile.That's how I am.Just straight faced.I even tried to chime in the conversation out of feeling completely embarrassed & stupid when this happened & she ignore every comment & wouldn't even look my way.I walked away feeling so small.But, I know that's not true.I've been taught very wel, way before cstone, so I had a confidence/relationship in God already there, that was not est. by them.All these things upon many more, that I could/would not share, had me always thinking I was being judged based on this or that.I would hear how everyone is welcome, no judgement, but I felt 0 welcome from pastor & kathi.I defended cstone on every level & took up the rear.But, didn't see them defend me.Then, recently before I saw this, I had thought of staff operating in an abusive atmosphere, because of an arrogant remark I recently heard.I use to think: what is so different from being snubbed by your cstone "family" or being rejected & snubbed from kids in High school & crying to your mom about it!.Or, getting out of an abusive relationship & have that continue forth in the church staff, through lack of understanding & poor choice of words.Pastors are suppose to restore, uplift & correct in LOVE, no matter who they are dealing with.I know I am a far cry from weird.I have a sense of humor & very light hearted & loyal.I felt that their behavior was weird.I reached out them, where are they reaching out to ALL, with no exceptions?

    ReplyDelete
  37. ^Anonymous up there:

    I can certainly validate your experience. That was not anything you "made up," nor are you projecting. Oft times it happened that the wives would walk by me. Just the two of us. And I wouldn't even get acknowledgment that I existed.

    There have been more times than I can count where I was having a discussion with one of the Pastors or wives and someone would boldly interrupt without an "excuse me." Never was it for anything important. Yet, the Pastor and or Wife would not say, "Hang on a moment," or "Excuse me," to me. My household used to call it the Cornerstone Affect.

    I will say that Maus, Martinez and Sis Terry were always very nice, pleasant and polite. Don't even get me started about King Micheal.
    I have actually seen female congregation members go half out of their minds because he gave them an acknowledgment.

    ReplyDelete
  38. To Anon 5:38,

    Are you still attending there? If you are waiting for things to change, hell could freeze over before that happens.

    It is sad and unfortunate that the pastors's wives have little regard for the "common" members. Janet Wend for one acts like a hoighty high school girl who is better than anyone and only has time for the special people whoever they are.

    The funny thing is that no matter how hard I tried to do things with a "spirit of excellence" in Synergy, I never quite felt like I was good enough or that anyone in headship was appreciative of the time and energy I gave to classes I taught. I felt as if there was a very competitive atmosphere at CStone & no matter what I thought I had, 2 degrees, years of expertise in my field, it didn't matter. They always found someone with a higher degree who could make them look better, kind of like, look at us we have so many very educated people here, aren't we special?

    The truth is that the only time they recognize anyone from the platform, it is for their gain to maintain their image and impress the masses. Kind of like, oh look at the talent we have here. Again aren't we special and highly anointed. There is a difference between giftings and anointing. Michael is a gifted speaker. Derek is a gifted musician. The anointing left a long time ago and they now have to entertain everyone into an artificial atmosphere of the Spirit. It's a technique called mesmerization and it gets the emotions heightened and sets the mind to receiving things that aren't really happening spiritually & once you leave the very emotionally charged atmosphere, the healing they supposedly received is gone.

    Then when that happens a message comes out about not having enough faith or listening to the devil or speaking the wrong words over yourself as if it is magic.

    Check out www.propheticnews.com some time with Susan Puzio. She has a blog radio program which explains a lot of the things that go on at CStone. It also has some excellent articles on false prophets and deceptive doctrines. Another good website to check out is www.letusreason.org

    I am sorry for the un-Christ like behavior that was exhibited toward you by the pastor's wives or at least some of them. You do know Sis Kelly left the church and is divorcing Robert. I can only imagine the hell she is going through having been a part of headship.

    I pray that she finds someone she can confide in and that Jesus comforts her in this difficult time.

    Keep your eyes open to the real truth and if you haven't left CStone yet, perhaps the Holy Spirit has led you to this blog for a reason.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I accepted Christ, experienced the presence of God, delivered from drugs and alcohol and healed in many ways because of Pastor Pitts' obedience to God and his willingness to follow his leading. I began attending at the age of 11, left for a few years and came back in 95'. I will always be thankful for his willingness to follow God and step out in faith. I never knew him personally or any of the staff members really well. I had little interaction with them. I never felt comfortable around them, they never made me feel comfortable around them. I volunteered countless hrs & most of the experiences I had were wonderful. The sad thing is that I felt invisible to the leadership staff. I felt they kept me at a distance. I was a member for 17 yrs. I also defended Pastor and the church more times than I care to talk about. I took an armor bearers class where they spoke of having a "spirit of Jonathon" & encouraged us to be willing to risk our lives for the anointing. I didn't think it strange because I had received so much at Cornerstone and thought they could do more than I could, that Michael's anointing was greater than mine. Now I think that's crazy! But still struggle with these messed up teachings!

    During services I always felt I was striving and that I wasn't quite good enough. I felt that I needed to try so hard and very little words of comfort were given about resting in Christ. Once in a while, but not enough. I remember one service where it was just hyped up singing and the guest pastor running around the church and no real message was preached. Because GOD had done so much for me through Pastor Pitts, I hate to admit it, even knowing it was God in him, I think I idolized him and the church because I didn't question him internally or the behavior of the leadership. They actually encouraged us not to bug them; ushers were watching the staff all the time. The few times Robert Pitts approached me during the last couple yrs I attended was to compliment me on how I looked. One time at a ladies conference I went up for prayer & the guest minister prayed for me and said she sensed the anointing of God on me & said some other nice things. When I looked up, Sis Kathi had a look of "really??" I thought, wow, this is disgusting. I'm nothing to them. Thank God for the comforting word, to spite whether she believed it or not.

    I started questioning Pastor Pitts after reading the letter he wrote about Pastor Mack. It was mean spirited. I can understand being upset with the way he went about leaving, but he wrote a letter and sent it. (Implying that there was thought that went into it) Also he referred to the people that attended Pastor Mack's church as his kids. We're GOD's kids!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Free part 2:I went to the Sunday service after the letter was sent and Pastor Pitts talked about the situation from the pulpit and justified his anger and degraded the young men that had left saying that were expecting him to give them a life, so to speak... Like they couldn't be him. I know these men and they all were looking to be mentored because they had a desire for God and to minister to others. It was the first time I couldn't get with a message. People were clapping and cheering and I was disgusted and wanted to walk out. The youth pastor could tell something was upsetting me and I shared with him my thoughts. He encouraged me to pray and that there's nothing wrong with questioning. I decided to go to a few more services and the last message I heard was about if "you're questioning or telling half-truths, you're a rat that needs to be burnt out of the city." He was trying to make people feel bad for questioning their behavior. It was awful! I could say a lot more, but the bottom line is I decided to leave.

    We WERE taught about covering/the skin tent, which was basically implying that if you left you weren't under the covering and therefore exposed to god-knows-what. I actually thought that if someone left and had gotten sick, it was becaused they weren't under the covering. WTH!!!

    Current members that ran into me at times, not everyone, but some wondered if I was even going to church anymore and were very rude to me. I think others befriended me in hopes to win me back to the church...

    As far as church leaders, no one's perfect and everyone gets angry at times... But to justify that anger and make practices of treating people a certain way because of your anger is wrong.

    I believe Paul said, Follow me as I follow Christ. I couldn't follow that example anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  41. FREE:

    Wow. Thank you for the share.

    I found myself reading that delivered from drugs and alcohol and healed in many ways because of Pastor Pitts' obedience to God and his willingness to follow his leading.

    My first thought is, "No. You were delivered because of God and YOUR willingness to follow HIS lead."

    I had a similar experience (in terms of recovery). However, it was more difficult to swallow what was being fed the more involved in my personal recovery I became.

    When I was exploring and examining my own dysfunctions and toxic systems, the more I started seeing the toxic environment at Cornerstone.

    No, no one is perfect. But there are healthy ways of dealing with situations and there are unhealthy ways. I do not believe that they know or understand healthy relationships. I truly don't.

    It's all good that Jesus is your friend and you use him as your "role model," but until someone actually goes through the living hell of self evaluation and TRUE CHANGE and not just a coat of paint over the barn (repentance) - there is no authority.

    I am convinced the ministry staff has no authority in terms of healthy relationships. None.

    I think it is like when a person in a family starts to become healthy; they no longer "fit" into the dynamic.

    ReplyDelete
  42. TO FREE:
    Thank you so much for sharing your life with us! Just as I was reading your comment, what came to my mind was this: You are very unique. You fought very hard for your freedom and refused to compromise. God kept you hidden at Cornerstone because they would have used your anointing for their own benefit. Even though at times you may have felt misunderstood and underestimated --know that God has been watching and he has been keeping tabs. "He is the author and finisher of our faith." You lost nothing and have gained everything bro./sis.
    I am not motivated to entice people with flattery words...This is what the Holy Spirit has given me to share with you. "God is getting ready to shine his spotlight on YOU -it's your turn."

    ReplyDelete
  43. re comment to FREE:
    "You are very unique. You fought very hard for your freedom and refused to compromise."

    Amen to that!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I recommend Dr. Rod Rosenbladt's message, _The Gospel For Those Broken by the Church_ available for free in both PDF & MP3 form here:

    http://www.newreformationpress.com/blog/nrp-freebies/the-gospel-for-those-broken-by-the-church/

    Also, the book & video excerpt _Christless Christianity_ by Dr. Michael S. Horton
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ReJr_Z1GQY

    ReplyDelete
  45. Anon2,

    Thank you for your insight and encouragement! It's very appreciated!

    Speaking the Truth in Love,

    Thank you so much for your willingness to share and encourage others. I cried when I read your response to me. I was touched to say the least. :)

    Thanks again,

    Free (:

    ReplyDelete
  46. To Free,

    Glad you wrote and openly and honestly shared your experience.

    I, like you, was a long time member - 18 years, nearly 2 decades of my life, time, money, and service. I related to so much of what you said. It's amazing how so many of us can share almost identical stories with identical feelings. That is no coincidence. We were all under the same spirit and abusive spiritual authority there.

    I too felt like you, always striving, but never quite feeling like no matter how hard I tried, I was doing enough. And of course you were right on, there wasn't ever a relationship with the pastor. He was like the mysterious OZ, until our eyes were opened and the curtain was pulled back and lo and behold, we were suddenly aware that MP was just a human as you & I and he wasn't the "anointed one" we had made him out to be.

    Yes, we did idolize MP & Cornerstone, but that is what his teaching/preaching caused us to do. That is the way it is set up there. He preached so hard against religious churches and the church out there to where we all believed "we" inside Cornerstone were the only ones who had things right and weren't religious like "them" out there. When it's preached so hard for so long, it becomes an engrained doctrine that permeates your thinking and then your belief system. It became an us vs. them mentality.

    The indoctrination we sat under for so long takes time to undo. Yes, it is difficult to sort through the crazy teachings we were under, but, that is why blogs like this are so important. The truth must be brought out in the open and the false teachings must be confronted.

    Just remember, there is nothing wrong with you. You did the right thing by leaving. We all got to a point where enough bad behavior was enough.

    ReplyDelete
  47. yesterday, i stumbled across some audio footage of Jim Jones from The People's Temple. He has become the icon for what society would call a "cult." When I listened to them, I was erieely reminded of similar messages preached at CS. There was one reel where everyone interviewed said their name and said who they would kill to protect Jim Jones and his ministry. Obviously, the People's temple didn't start that way, however, money and power are serious intoxicants. "Movin On" stated being taught about the "Jonathan annointing" and how we need to be willing to lay down our life for "the annointing". This sounds really similar to what Jim Jones was preaching. I realized that I had elevated MP to a different level than me....like he was so much greater in God's kingdom. Jesus taught that the greatest servant would be the greatest in the kingdom. It definately seems like a very cultish climate. I heard one of MP associate pastors say that C-Stone was Michael's Kingdom....oh yes she did!!! That would make MP the King now wouldn't it? Something is seriously wrong with this picture.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I have supported a few Christians who had to leave different abusive churches. This abusive pattern is not exclusive to Cornerstone. Unfortunately abusive churches are found in many different teaching streams. It's always emotionally and spiritually difficult for the ones leaving. A book that seems especially helpful during this process is: "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse" by David Johnson & Jeff Van Vonderen.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Wow..Thanks whomever got this together..I left in Feb would had left sooner if it haven't been for my son who grew up there didn't want to leave,,My name was trashed there I was in need of a minstry to minister to me not reject me an form a reputation against me,,I'm very happy I left and I know God is very strong in my life even though I left..I had suspected sister Kelly was not with Robert when I didn't see his huge ring on his finger..I hope all is well for her..For many years out of the 20yrs I thought it was all me..what they put me through, and the reputation I still deal with out side it has trinkled down to my kids an my x husband the abusive is ever ending...sad to say..thanks to pastoral minstrey of this well known Church...

    ReplyDelete
  50. Thank God for this blog!! It is much needed and my prayers are that God will truly bless all who post and find their way here. One thing I would encourage those of us who have found freedom from Cornerstone to remember is that, it wasn't until we left that we bagan to realize what we had been sitting under. Over the years, people tried to tell me that this church was off but I just couldn't see it. It wasn't until I was out from under the control and influence that my eyes became enlightened. I would encourage us to truly pray and ask God to open the eyes of their understanding because until then, (as I have experienced with trying to share my experience with current members),you will be labeled bitter, disgruntled, off , etc. As we continue to pray for them, I beleive God will open the door and allow us to share when the time is right.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Uhm, yeah. I go to Cornerstone, and I personally think it's pretty amazing. Not sure what you guys see that's so horrible about it at all. :/

    ReplyDelete
  52. To AoRK:
    Thanks for visiting the blog friend. No one here is saying there aren't "any" attractive features at Cornerstone. However, a church is more than its stage presence, music, and activities.

    Look deeper at the teaching and leadership methods. I welcome you to read our other articles (esp. Signs of a Spiritually Abusive Church).
    God Bless

    ReplyDelete
  53. It is painful to read of all the pain this once incredible church has caused. JW is one of the biggest "yes men" I have ever seen. JS a close second. These people would do just about anything to "preserve" their position and protect their god. Including and not limited to outright deceit and perhaps perjury.
    We left after 15 years of active duty. We noticed the trend animosity and arrogance toward us, the congregation. The arrogance, pride, and haughtiness on the platform was disturbing. "One deal, one day, one door" = two condos in Florida/ was about enough to make us realize that MP had descended into the ranks of greed and independent wealth right behind RP. We would leave the services feeling empty and deeply grieved. It was a long and painful journey from realizing "The emperor has no clothes" to the final curtain call. For those of you who read this; you are not alone. In truth, YOU never were. God has not left you, He's just left the corporation that CC has become. As MP always said.."GOD AIN'T IN IT". and He isn't. I am sure that if you were to look back in retrospection, you would find that He has been trying to protect the sheep that MP abandoned a long time ago. We just have a way of "overlooking" the obvious red flags because of the indoctrination and false teachings. Things become ingrained so deeply that it becomes second nature to defend a man who has been in trouble so much it is alarming. Naturally we would correctly presume that where there is smoke there is fire, however,we have been programed to respond based on the foundation of error that we were programmed with. It is only when you step away and allow God to work in you that you truly become free for the first time in years. It is not easy, and it is painful and devastating; we've lost something we once held very dear and very personal. It isn't real..not any more; and unless there is a watershed moment of true and sincere repentance from the pulpit, it isn't likely to return. With repentance comes restoration. CC can't be restored to its former glory without repentance. It is not too much to ask that those active in adultery and going through divorces be releived of duties during this period of time so as not to make a mockery of God and Worship. Who was it that said "God don't bless no mess?" Obviously those words don't apply to the "untouchables". It is sad, but this is the arrogance that has festered on the pulpit. This infection requires healing that can only come from God through true repentance and proper administration of Godly correction. If Cstone leaders are exempt from this correction, it is dangerous to set under the ministry. We have loved MP and will continue to love MP. We would not miss RP, however, if he decided to leave. It would actually be a blessing; his offenses toward the congregation and departed ministry is horrific. Many people stay because they lack a place to go. It's called the wilderness, and that is where God ministered to John the Baptist; do not be afraid. God will feed you "there". The relationship we have with God, now, is better than it has ever been. Absent is the voice of error indoctrinating us in false teaching designed to fleece the flock for the purpose of independent wealth. Michael, if you are reading this, shame on you. You were a mighty tool in the hand of God, and look how you've scattered the sheep of HIS flock and not gone after them.

    ReplyDelete